Monday, July 02, 2007

Egg Dreams

So I have been a vegetarian since I was 12, when my good friend Anne (no longer a vegetarian, but still a follow of eating healthy and locally) introduced me to the concept. I had never liked meat (amongst a gazillion other things I wouldn't eat, I was the mom's nightmare style picky eater), and I had always loved animals. So one day she told me she became a vegetarian and it was like "whoa! you mean people do that? and I can too?" I was pretty excited. My mom was not so thrilled. "I'm not cooking separate meals for you!"

After all of these years I was pretty used to be being a vegetarian. But I still have lots of stomach issues. I won't bore you with the details. I went to a vareity of Doctors. Mr. By-the-Book doctor proclaimed (after doing fancy tests) that nothing was wrong with me, and it was all in my head. (Gee, thanks). Ms. Happie-Hippie Doctor perscribed me on a no sugar diet to get rid of candidas albicans (or something), also she found lots of food I have sensitivities too (which all have panned out).

Still I didn't exactly follow her advice and my stomach didn't get better. Then about three or four months ago, I began to embrace the truth. Everytime I ate dairy, I felt very ill afterwards, and no lactaid didn't help. It took some forcing (by myself) but I stopped eating dairy, and damn, do I feel better.

So now I am a non-diary imbibing vegetarian.

But back to the title. Egg Dreams.

So I have always had a slight grossed-out reaction to eggs, but always ate them anyways. A few months ago, I purchased what I thought were local cage-free vegetarian fed hen eggs. Then I was making some breakfast and I noticed some hunkachunka pinkie stuff in my egg. Ew. I threw out the pinkie thing, trying not to look. The I went about my business, cracking the two more eggs for the recipe. All of them seemed, well, odd. I looked on the egg carton again. FERTILIZED EGGS it said in large (how did I miss this?) letters acrosssed the top. My stomach dropped and churned about. My intellectual side was reduced to "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW". I mean, eggs are already goo squeezed from between a very unintelligent bird's legs. They are gross enough unfertilized. But, fertilized? And why, oh why, would you sell such a thing? Do people eat them, ON PURPOSE? Are they for hatching?

Since then, I have not stopped eating eggs, but every time I crack one, I feel a reluctance. And last night, was the culmination of this. Egg Dreams.

I have a dream that I was making some food and cracked an egg. A little fetus was in it, which had a spikey backbone, all curled up. I tried to throw it away without thinking and cracked another one. It had a bigger, more disgusting spiney-back boned fetus inside. In my dream, I ran into the bathroom to be sick.

In the real world, I woke up totally disgusted. eggs. shudder. fetus. shudder. fertilized. shudder.

Am I destined to be a vegan? Well I did just make brownies with EGGS in it, so I guess we will see.

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