Fatigue
Fatigue slams down, hitting like a black, slightly tacky
hammer in the darkness, smelling of a musty wood shop. It leaves the mind intact
and willing to go about daily works. Sapped of necessary electrons, oxygen or perhaps antioxidants, the body becomes no longer a useful tool of the brain, but
a hardship. Unfortunately the brain cannot bail out but must weather out
the storm, finding ways to keep itself entertained until the body resumes its
normal function. The body becomes a mass of floppy appendages, getting in the
way of thought processes, useless but still requiring food and other
necessities. Truly a burden on the brain. The only solace for the brain during
these times is that it will all turn around and once again the body will resume
normal function, which cannot be said for all bodies, something important to keep in mind.
Joy
Many lives are spent waiting for joy to happen, or waiting
for it to doused upon them like a sudden, welcome downpour on a warm summer day, or to come specially labelled in a big shiny
package set at their door step. But joy comes in fleeting moments. In seconds—small fragments of time but millions times a day. Joy is not a certain thing, but a certain way
of thinking. Sometimes it is easy to miss it. Humans living their lives do not
often stop and look for joy. They check their check boxes. Straighten their ties. Do
not recognize those minute moments for what they are.
Loneliness
Loneliness used to be a word spat out with hate, a word to
be destroyed. For a time, nothing worse
could be imagined that this mere fact. A person on their own. While sometimes you
still glimpse fear as it crumples the corners of you papers as it tries to dart into the familiar corners of your heart-- but mostly loneliness has a different relationship. It is more like plunging deeply
into a warm calm ocean with eyes open. You can see the surface of the sky from
here. Looking up. Thoughts. Words. Actions. Loneliness gives you confidence. To do things
not often done. To step out of the humdrum.
Sorrow
Sorrow inevitably unfolds from things that cannot be
changed. Things that cannot be changed are some of the hardest the deal with.
What to do with a memory, an emotion, a guilt, a pain, a sadness? Caused by you or unable to be stopped by you
or happened to you. Sorrow is sorrow and nothing to change it. Sorrow slips
into your mind like black ink. By letting it remain there it can become heavy
and dark in your thoughts, a liquid pool of dense emotion, of doubt or guilt,
of jolted dreams and stomach aches. Letting the black ink of sorrow slip and
slide out splashing onto paper, vibrating into space, releasing your sound into
the universe, reaching another’s ear, commiserating. Sorrow seems to dwindle
through the act of expression.
